Kung Fu Cucumbers
by Myew-chan
Summary: OOC! Konoha is in a weird state. Naruto's psychic, Sakura's got a sword, and Kakashi's evil! Things are going real crazy here. Do you think Tenten will let peace prevail in the world? When is the end of the world anyways...?
1. The Day

I hope you like the story.

Because it's weird maybe you won't like it.

In the story I really changed everyone's personalities( i think).

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**CHAPTER 1-** The Day 

Another morning it was. Itachi sat in his corner reading his book. There were lots of shadows at that corner so you couldn't tell what he was reading.

Far away from there, Sasuke awoke. He snapped his fingers and flames appeared above them. He smirked. /I just had a dream where I BURNED your precious book, Itachi./ He thought. "MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed maniacally.

He looked at his clock after laughing for a while. "$#! I'M GOING TO BE LATE!" He rushed out of his house after getting ready for the day. He ran to the usual meeting spot where Sakura and Naruto were. Sakura was brushing her long hair with the staring look in her eye. She wore a sleeveless black shirt and a black skirt with a large belt around it. She had a sheathed sword hanging from her belt. She looked up.

"…"

Sasuke ignored her silence and looked at Naruto. He was in his usual meditating stance, floating off the ground with purple light shining around him. /Must resist urge to burn./ He really wanted to set something on fire.

There was a poof of smoke. Standing there (as usual) was Kakashi. "Hello worthy students of mine…" He looked at them all and gave an unhappy look. "Look here." Sasuke caught the newspaper Kakashi just threw. **PEOPLE KILLED: SURVIVERS SAID TO SEE PINK HAIR, PURPLE LIGHTS, AND LOTS** **OF FIRE. **

Kakashi frowned again. "You must learn not to be seen or noticed while assassinating the members of villages. Sasuke, don't leave everything behind you in flames. Sakura, don't let your hair flow into sight. Naruto, stop teleporting with that very noticeable light." "KAKASHI SENSEI! How could you think of such a thing? I can NOT possibly give up teleporting!" "Fine. You can at least teleport outside of human eyesight. Today we shall try again. Our target is Noimportanceville." "Kakashi sensei…. Why must we do yet another massacre of a village. We've been doing things like that a lot lately." "You must perfect the art of killing. You children have not yet done that so you must continue to practice."

They were off. Minutes later they arrived at Noimportanceville, the village of no importance. Kakashi sent them in different directions and left to watch how the individuals had improved.

The alley way was dark, very dark, a perfect place to hide from enemies. /someone's coming/ Sakura pressed against the wall and blended in. She could not be seen. A group of men passed by, talking to each other, not knowing of their fate. Sakura stepped out and unsheathed her blade. She quickly, yet silently, ran forward and swung her sword. The bodies were well hidden somewhere and Sakura set off once again.

Naruto sensed the presence of someone approaching. He teleported to a spot where he could locate the enemy, but the enemy could not locate him. He put his fingers together to form a circle. Once the target's head was visible through this circle, Naruto said the magic words, "PSYCHIC!" The target collapsed to the floor. Naruto then teleportedthebody into a dump 3,925 miles away. He smirked. /I CAN defeat enemies with my psychic powers/

/hehehe/ Sasuke approached the man with a sad fate. "FIRE!" The man's head caught fire and before he could scream, "BLIZZARA!" the man froze. The man was then burned to a crisp and Sasuke just grinned with delight but then frowned. /too bad I can't set the whole #$ place on fire.../

Noimportanceville was empty with nothing but dead stuff and fluffy bunnies, devouring the dead people's food supplies with evil redness in their eyes. "SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF!" (WE HAVE FINALLY OBTAINED THE ENEMY FOOD, MY BUNNY LACKIES!) Kakashi gave the genins an approving smile. "You all did a good job..." /Splendid! At this rate all the villages will be empty for my taking! I shall conquer everyone and everything/ "Kakashi-sensei? Why are you grinning evilly?" "Oh... it is nothing for you children to think about..." "Ok..." Naruto paused and then continued his meditating.

Sakura finally returned home from that tiring day of destruction. She passed by Naruto's house and saw a little girl. It was Yuzu Yondy Turanzu, the 5 year old Chuunin. She smiled. "Hello!" "Oh... hello!" replied Sakura. Sakura returned home and noticed she got some mail. 'To Sakura, It's me, Tenten. I was wondering if you'd like to go with me to the coming carnival. If you come then you can bring any person you wish to bring... unless if they are peace smashing terrorists that hate the way of the hippie.. One day, we will live in a world, rid of the humans of hate for, they will all DIE BY MY HAND! So, if you'd like to come then just come, okay? Your friend, Tenten. /...should I go?.../

"aahhh... Such a woderous day... oh, why hello there Ino!" Ino skipped happily towards Naruto and smiled with her wide eyes in a freaky way. "Hello Naruto!pika." She wore a long robe decorated with strange desighns and Pikachus. The bottom of her skirt said pika pika pika and on and on. She was crazy. Crazy for 'The Great and Mighty Pikachu'. She had two lightning sticks and when she was in a fix...

_flashback..._

_Ino and pals were surrounded by enemy ninja. "GREAT AND MIGHTY PIKACHU, LEND ME YOUR POWER!" She held up her sticks and got hit by lightning. "..." Shikamaru sighed. Ino's long hair stick up and she went berserker mode towards the enemy. "Why is our teammate crazy?" Choji shrugged._

_end of flashback_

/I must discover how she gets hit by lightning like that../

"Good day." Sasuke gave a small smile. "Good day to you to madam." Temari flapped her fan and snapped her fingers. "What is it you need Madam Temari?" "Fetch me some tea will you?" Kankuro ran off. Temari wore a long fancy poofy dress and had long velvet gloves. Kankuro wore a servant's suit an was like Temari's personal slave(He hates it). "So how are you doing as a peasant?" "Normal." "Please tell more details of your poor life." "Uhh.. I bought a slushy?" "Why must I even bother having a conversation with the likes of you." "Madam! Your tea." "Thank you, now take me somewhere else." She stepped onto a fancy carriage and Kankuro pulled her away. /eehhhh/ Sasuken was bored when he noticed that Tenten was walking towards him. with a strange look in her eye. /oh $#. did she figure out I don't beleive in peace/ "Sasuke.." She said in a deep evil voice. /&$/ "..would you like to go to the carnival?" She then said in a mush more yippy voice. "I'm inviting all the nice people I know. Sakura is going to. She told me." "Uhhh, sure."

**LATER**

Sakura waited at her door when a motercycle drove up. She walked up to the man who rode it. "You are indeed a little later then I expected." "I wasn't paying attention to the time." replied Shikamaru. He wore a leather jacket and black jeans. Sakura hopped on behind him and they drove off.

They arrived at the carnival. "Sakura!" Naruto was calling out to her. "Sorry for being late, it's Shikamaru's fault." The couples there(some aren't really couples but are two people groups) were: Sakura and Shikamaru, Naruto and Hinata and Neji( is exeption because he suspects Naruto of doing somthing horrible to Hinata or something), Kakashi and Iruka, Temari and Kankuro( as usual), Lee and Tenten, Gaara and Yuzu( i bet you did not see that coming... as many other things), Kurenai and Asuma, Tsunade and Shizune, Sasuke and Haku( yes he IS alive), and everyone i'm missing but I don't want to put here. Iruka smiled at them all. "I hope we have a wonderous night at this carnival! Let the birds sing and the flowers bloom for we are one with nature!" (yes, Iruka is a girl in this story) Kakashi smirked. / If I can harness the power of the mystic coupon here then surely, I can TAKE OVER THE WORLD/ Gai smirked. / If I can harness the power of the mystic coupon here then surely, I can TAKE OVER THE WORLD/ The two then frowned. /What if Gai gets there first/What if Kakashi gets there first/ "Gai, this is a battle now, not just a game." "I know, stupid rival, for I GAI SHALL CONQUER THE COUPON!" Gai smirked once again and opened his eyes. Kakashi was gone. "CURSE YOU KAKASHI!"

"So where do you wish to go first?" "I'm not sure anddon't really care. But no matter what I do not wish to go to that clown section." "I know! Let's go on ghost rider! I just love that ride!" "Great idea! I enjoy that ride to!" Hinata smiled. Neji glared at Naruto. He had just insisted that Hinata would go on Ghost Rider! ( he couldn't think of any better reason to glare.)just later. "THAT WAS SOOO FUN!" "I KNOW!" "..." Hinata's hair was messed up and she was smiling and jumping up and down. Suddenly there was an explosion.

Kakashi was riding on a giant moving rock and was riding through the air. Iruka was sitting behind him and waved. "Are you having a good time Haku! I hope your haming a good time! I'll get you some icecream later if I can!" "Don't spoil the boy! He's spoiled enough because of you!" "It's good to gift your child with gifts because then they will apreciate their parents more! (Iruka adopted Haku)" Kakashi wave a coupon in the air. "SEE THAT GAI? I WIN AGAIN! NOW I SHALL CONQUER YOU ALL!"

Neji's eyes widened. "&#! How did he get his hands on that?" Naruto looked confused."huh?" Hinata then realized what Neji meant and clasped her mouth. /oh no.../ "EVERYONE! WE MUST BAND TOGETHER TO TAKE BACK THE COUPON!" Haku laughed. "What an interesting day!" Sasuke twiched. "FIRAGA!" Lee's head set on fire and he did a spin jump into a tree. "I JUST HATE BALLERINAS!" Lee sniffed and replied, "But Ballet is a wonderful thing! It saddens me that someone doesn't apretiate ballet.." "THEN YOU CAN ATLEAST TAKE OFF THE TUTU!" "but.." "THUNDAGA!" Lee was parralized and hit the hard floor. Tenten laughed.

"HELLO? PEOPLE? WE MUST BAND TOGETHOR!" "What's this all about?"asked Yuzu. "Ok, let me explain... (insert stuipid music here) Once upon a time, at the place I work, there was a great thing made there. The problem was that this thing was so powerful that if it fell into the hands of someone who knew how to use it, then we'd all be doomed. That's why the boss made a special coupon that you had to use to purchase the thing." "How come you can't just destroy this 'thing'?" "Because once it is created in the world, atleast one of it's kind must remain." "Why is that?" "I don't know. It just is that way. NOW EVERYONE! LET'S GO!" Everyone got togethor and started to follow him up a tallmountain path. It seemed that at the end of the path (the top of the mountain) there were thunder clouds, eery music, and raining pigs.

**Where does Neji work? What religion does Gaara believe in? WHO IS YUZU? Orochimaruuuuu, where are you?**

**FIND OUT NEXT TIME!

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I told you it's weird. **

I hope you like it. It's my first fanfic (I am Myew-chan's sister, not Myew-chan)I bet you'll NEVER guess who Yuzu really is...you know... her secret identity!

Please say if it's boring or not, i'll try to make it more interesting if it is...


	2. Blue Beard the Pirate

Chapter 2 has come!

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**CHAPTER 2-Blue Beard the Pirate**

Itachi sat in that dark corner of his. "Loooook! Look at me!" Kisame jumped out of the aquarium tank thing and went splat on the cold, hard, wood floor. "A little help here? Please?" "Why did you do that?" "I was SHAMU!" "..." Itachi swung Kisame back into his tank. "Here." He then threw in a fishy. /WHYY! WHY ME/ The fishy was so sad. /ME. THE 2nd HOKAGE. REINCARNATED AS A FISH! A FISHY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! LOOK AT THE 4TH! HE WAS REINCARNATED AS A GIRL/ Kisame ate the fish. /boo hoo-OW/ Crunch crunch. No more 2nd Hokagefishy.

The 4th smirked.(this happened before the coupon insident) /It is true. I am a female! A weeeel cuuuute girl/ Yondaime was so glad he wasn't a fishy. He heard from the 1st(who was a birdy). /I, Yondaime! Now called YUZU YONDY TURANZU! shall become the most genius, adorablest, widdle girl ever/ "Yuzu dear, finish your chores please. You still haven't attacked the Dinkleburgs." "Yes, Mother dearwums!"

"Everyone. Stay behind me! We shall SCALE THIS MOUNTAIN to the top. THE TOP, not the BOTTOM, TENTEN!" "SORRY! I don't like hiking. Can't I just leave now?" "NOOO! WE MUST GET THAT COUPON!" Tenten gave him a dirty look. "Maybe you're a PEACE HATING ANTI HIPPIE MAN OF THE P.H.A.H.P.(peace hating anti hippie peoplez) ASSOCIATION!" Neji gulped. "FINE! YOU CAN LEAVE! JUST DON'T KILL ME!" Tenten smiled and jumped down the one foot she had climbed.

Temari never followed the fool peasant in the first place and relaxed in her nice chair. "More tea, Kankuro." "Yes Ma'am" "Thank you." She then wondered how Gaara was doing. "Kankuro." "Yes?" "Hand me the paper and pen, I'm going to write Gaara a letter." "Yes Ma'am."

_Dear Gaara,_

_It is I, Temari and I wonder how you are doing. Here in Konoha, more peasants are showing up and I think that Neji boy has gone mad. Everything is insane here. How are you doing at your place? Is it peaceful? Your meditations and rituals doing well? I hope you aren't eating TOO much vegetables. Too much might kill you. No, don't shave your head. It just isn't right. Also it would make you look like a monk or something._

_Sincerely,_

_Temari_

She sealed the letter into an envelope and handed it to Kankuro. "Send it now. I want to get the reply as quick as possible." Kankuro sighed. "..yes ma'am..."

Iruka continuaslly looked at the ground with a worried look. "What would happen if you smashed those flowers?" She thought about and gasped. "That would just be too horrible!" "Don't worry my dear, This rock is flying, remember?" "Oh yes... EEP! YOU ALMOST HIT THAT POOR POOR FLOWER!" Tears started to drip out of her eyes. Kakashi sighed until he got the hiccups. "My dear-HIC- remember now-HIC- Flying rockflo-HIC-ating-HIC-not hit flowerev-HIC-eryhings okay.HIC- Get it?" She wiped her eyes. "I suppose..." She looked down again. "EEP! THE FLOWERS!" Kakashi put his hand to his head and hiccuped untill he started to choke.

"YES!" Neji was very pleased that they had made it onto the rock." Kakashi turned. "Oh #!" "Hatake Kakashi, you're under arrest for misuse of the coupon." Hinata pulled off her dress and underneath was a black suit. She slipped on her sunglasses and bustedout her pistol. Remember, this only took 1/2 a second.

"OMG! HINATA'S GOT A GUN!" Naruto was terrified. "I repeat. Hatake Kakashi, you're under arrest." "Sooo-GACK!" He fell to the hard, rock, floor. Blood spread on the browness. "Kakashi!" Iruka was crying with fear. "The rock hit a flower!" "..iruk.a...the..ro.. ck..flo..ats..." Hinata locked the handcuffs onto his hands and knocked down Gai. "HEY! WHAT DID I DO?" "You had the same goal as this criminal, so therefore, you also are a criminal." She took them away and Neji obtained the coupon once again. "FINALLY! THIS IS OVER!" Yuzu gasped in releif. /Everything HAS changed since I died/

"Where do you work anyways?" Sasuke was so curious he could've died like the cat down the street. "You can go eat there anytime you want." See you later, I have to return this to my boss." He vanished in a poof of smoke. "CURSE YOU POOFY SMOKE!" Tenten had previously took the elevator. "Why don't I take you to Neji!" "Yes." "Ok!" Everyone besides Sasuke, Naruto, and Kiba left because they didn't feel like going. "Where do we go first?" "Down the street!" "I'll meet you there!" Naruto teleported down the street.

Finally they arrived. Sasuke's curiosity was satsisfied but knowing the truth wasn't. "Carl's jr.?" "Yes. I get free discounts 'cause... i dunno, they just give 'em to me." They entered. "Hello!" Tenten smiled. 'Oh no! It's Tenten!' Whispered the guy at the counter. 'Quickly! Give her the discount before she thinks we're part of the P.H.A.H.P!' Naruto sat down until Tenten brought over what everyone had ordered. They ate and were full and happy. "Oh! Let me clean up this table!" Kiba took out his trusty feather duster and swept the table clean. **BOOM!** A truck drove through the wall and stopped. Shino stepped out of it. "Kiba. Training is now." "All righty! Right after a sweep up everything!"

"Nice Pepsi truck." Naruto grinned. "...thanks..." "Kiba." "Yes?" Sasuke looked sturnely at him. "After your training, come to my house right away. I'm re-hiring you. It ends up I really do need a maid. There's ashes everywhere!" Kiba looked delighted. "Of course!" He spun around in his black maid skirt and hopped into the Pepsi truck. Shino started up the engine and drove off. "You're going to have to pay for that wall!" Tenten turned and looked atthe worker./EEP/ "Eh..he he.. Th-that's okay!...hehe.. W-we can just p-pay for it!" Tenten smiled and stepped outside through the huge hole. Naruto then teleported home. Sasuke was left there.

Konoha was then payed a visit by a lovely girl with long black hair and pale skin. Wait a minute... that's not a girl! Kabuto looked around the village and turned to Orochimaru...who was in a frilly blue dress for reasons unknown. "Orochimaru-sama! Straighten your back! You don't want to become a hunchback do you?" "..but-" "No buts. Straighten yourself. That's better, keep that posture." Orochimaru flipped his hair with a 'hmph'. "Hey Kabuto!" "Yes Orochimaru-sama?" "What do you think that dear Sasuke is doing?" "I'm not sure. STOP!" Kabuto grabbed the bag of candy away from Orochimaru. "Keep eating like that and you'll lose all your teeth!" Orochimaru glared at Kabuto and ran for it. "OROCHI-SAMA! COME BACK THIS INSTANT OR YOU GET NO SUPPER!"

Poor Sasuke was about to confront the crossdresser. But that's not what's happening here. Shino, Kiba, and Hinata were training. Kiba twirled around and swung his feather duster about. "Kiba, you forgot to take out the knife part." "Oh yea. Hehe." Kiba was embarrased. He pressed a button and a knife stuck out of the duster. It was hidden by the feathers so it was hard to see. Hinata targeted the target and shot bullseye. Shino was getting some more roadkill with his awesome Pepsi truck. "Shino!" yelled Kurenai. "Why don't you try letting your spirit soar without the truck? Use your inner strength to defeat the enemy!" Shino stepped out of the truck and obeyed his sensei. He then pulled out a can of Pepsi and shook it.aimed it. and opened it. bam. "Bullseye." The target was soaked up in pure, yummy, Pepsi.

Now let's return to Sasuke. "FIRAGA! BLIZAGGA! THUNDAGA!" He stepped on some ouchy stuff and flinched. "CURAGA!" A green light circled his foot and the ouchies left him. "Nice..." "SASUKE-KUN!" "OMG.." Sasuke started to pray. "PLEASE GOD! DON'T LET IT BE-" "It's me! Orochimaru-chan!" He was glomped. He couldn't breath. He had failed. Orochimarugrinned inevilness. "But you can just call me Rochi-chan!" He smirked more and more. "MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" /next victim...ITACHI/

Far away. There was a wooden cottage in a feild of grass and flowers. A kid lived there. He sat and spoke to a big statue. He then ate some carrots. "Oh, it seems mail has arrived at my fair home. He took out the letter. He made a short reply.

_I'm doing fine. I'm not eating too many veggies either. Nothing strange is happening here except for the incident where I saw a bunny ride a moped. Please do not worry about me_

_from, Gaara_

He sealed the envelope and stuck it in the mailbox. He then again entered his home. "Oh Buddha. Please let my friends have a splendid day today. May peace prevail." He stood up and went to water his beautiful flowers.

Tenten sat on her couch and read **_The Hippie Daily. _**"ROFLMAO!" She fell onto the floor and choked on her laughter.

**Is Itachi safe? Where will Orochimaru take Sasuke? What is Tenten laughing about? Why is Kabuto acting like my mom?**

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This is the chapter 2 of KFC as you know. BUT maybe you didn't know that Kung Fu Cucumbers is KFC chicken. Yummy Yummy chicken in my tummy tummy something.

PLZ REVIEWZ!


	3. Ino Goes Down the Hill

Chapter 3

Konoha is facing bad problems.

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**CHAPTER 3-** **Ino Goes Down the Hill**

Itachi once again sat in his little corner. Footsteps. He turned. /someone is coming/ Kisame whipped the wall with his blue fishy tail and ate the 2nd Hokage's great grandpa's fishy reincarnate. The door swung open. "ITACHI-KUN!" Itachi gasped. "The crossdresser." 'Rochi-chan' walked towards him with an evil smile. "Itachi-kun! I've been looking for you. Poor poor Sasuke needs some company." "Sasuke?" He then noticed that Rochi was holding a large bag. "Is Sasuke in there?" "Of course silly! Where else would he be?" "At his house?" "Wrong. He'd be here anyways 'cause I say so." Rochi-chan stepped closer towards the scared Itachi. "Your scared huh." Rochi smurked. "Whats wrong? Didn't you use to bully me around JUST 'cause i was in a dress? Now that I've quit stupid Akatsuki gang, now I can wear my beautiful dress all day long instead of that ugly cloak." Itachi flinched. Rochi grabbed Itachi and threw him into the bag.

"Sniff sniff." Sasuke opened his eyes. /where am i-/ "OMG!" "Huh?" "ITACHI!" Itachi looked at him. "Hello dear, dear brother." "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" "Why? Because of this 'Rochi-chan'. I must escape this bag." "You have no reason to though you evil excuse of a brother." "Of course I have a reason!" "Then what is it?" "I am NOT an excuse of a brother! I'm a very go-" "JUST TELL ME YOUR #&$-ING REASON ALREADY!" Itachi sighed. "You are such an immature brother. Well, my reason is that-" "I AM MATURE!" "You want me to tell you or not?" Sasuke grumbled. "Well it is because my wife and children are waiting for me!" said Itachi dramatically. "..." Sasuke stared sternly. "You're not married." "I will be though! I'm engaged!" Sasuke gasped. "You never told me!" "You never tell _me _things though so why should I tell you." "What have I not told you." "You know the time you accidentally met lips with that Naruto person? My wife to be had to tell me about it. You never said a word to me about it. Even on 'Tell your brother stuff' day!" Sasuke gasped. "Your wife to be is as old as ME?" "'course not. Found a photo on the internet." "WE DON'T HAVE INTERNET YET! IT HASN'T BEEN INVENTED YET!" "Soo?" "SOO?"

"MWAHAHAHA!" Rochi-chan laughed evilly. "You two are now mine!" Sasuke screamed. "No one can stop me now.. MWAHAH-" "OROCHIMARU-SAMA! THERE YOU ARE! WHY DID YOU RUN OFF LIKE THAT? YOU ARE GROUNDED YOUNG MAN-LADY!" "But-" "NO BUTS! YOU ARE GROUNDED AND YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!" /_ **I **_was the one who hired Kabuto. Kabuto is my slave person. Not my mom. I should do something about this. I know/ "OROCHI-SAMA! LISTEN TO ME!" "Why should I?" "BECAUSE-" It was silent. "Because... um..." "AH HA! YOU AREN'T SO POWERFUL NOW, ARE YOU?" Kabuto faced defeat and his head hung low. Rochi-chan triumphantly danced. He turned. "HE SEES US! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" Sasuke and Itachi ran away. "NOOOOOOO!" Rochi-chan was very upset and then had a tantrum. Kabuto understood now that he was not Orochimaru's mother and ran away before he could slice his head off.

Haku looked at the happy girl. "So how are you doing?" "Oh me? I'm very excited!" Haku was curious so he asked, "Why?" The girl looked at him with happy eyes. "It is because i'm engaged!" Haku's expression changed. "Engaged? That's wonderful!" "It is wonderful! Let us eat ramen because we are so happy!" "What a splendid idea!"

"I'VE GOT THE POWER!" Everyone who looked at Tenten in the eyes at that minute died. Her eyes were blazing with power. Blazing with the burning fury of a thousand suns! Neji was tied up against the wall. "MMMFFF!" He was also gagged. What he meant was, "NOOO!" That stupid star that was on that Carl's j.r. sign was blazing in flames and mayo on the hard, concrete floor. "With this power I shall gruesomely murder all who oppose the way of the hipsie(1/2 hippie 1/2 gypsie)! She entered the building and slammed a small paper on the counter. "One U.P. please.." "GRMPHSLRG!" Neji was frantically trying to say, "THE COUPON!"

She sat. The clouds hung in the blue sky. Actually, the sky was red and black with smoke but she ignored that. She sat against the tree. "PIKA! HOW ARE YOU DOING PIKA?" "... why are you so loud.." "TODAY THE CLOUDS HAVE PARTED AND HAVE SUMMONED THE GREAT PIKA CREATURE. ONE OF THE GREAT PIKA'S MINIONS OF WONDER!" Sakura sighed. She stood up and kicked Ino down the hill. "THE GREAT PIKA!" It echoed and echoed. Sakura sat down and enjoyed a riceball.

Tenten smiled and took out her **_The Hippie Daily. _**Printed on it was some words. _Evil crossdresser attackes town. Naruto grows mustache!_ The important thing though was at the very bottom. _**Anti P.H.A.H.P section: **The coupon of Carl's j.r. will help destroy evil. With the coupon, order the U.P. Good luck. _Tenten's smile then became a smirk. She was standing on a giant hampster(in Ino's point of view is the great pika creature). Also known as Ultra Pipi**(1)**. Smash went that building ka-smash went the other building. /I've found it/ Before her was the headquarters of the P.H.A.H.P. "MWAHAHAHA!" The hampster stepped fowards and Squish. She had stepped on somthing...or some_one_. "#&#&"**(2)** U.P. lifted it's foot. "More #&#&#." She stepped on Kabuto. EWWWW!"

"Uggg" Kabuto tried to stand. It was too hard. His organs had been crushed. Tenten jumped down. "I am so sorry!" Kabuto glared at her. "A hippie! Of all the people who come to help, a HIPPIE!" He had said the wrong words. Tenten twiched. She pulled out her knife. It was a special knife. It was embroidered with pretty desighns and the handle was nicely decorated. Wrapped with nice colored cloth and some bells and other stuff, tied to the handle. She then pulled out a bottle. It was her anti P.H.A.H.P oil. She dipped her knife into it and pulled it out. The knife shighned in the sun light. She swung it down.

Rochi-chan gasped. He didn't like screams from far away. /must ignore/ "Itachi-kuuun! Sasuke-kuuuun! Where are youuuuuuu!" Sasuke was hiding. If he made a single sound he would die for sure. 'ppssst! Itachi!' Itachi wasn't there.

Far away. "Itachi! Glad you could make it!" He sat down on the chair and smiled. The girl put a bowl of ramen on the counter. Far away again. "CURSE YOU ITACHI!" /what have i done/ He grabbed his mouth but it was too late. Rochi-chan had found him. He laughed. He moved closer. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Tenten smirked. The P.H.A.H.P. HQ had been eliminated. As for Kabuto? She stepped on his body. The blood spilled all over the floor. With his last strength he wrote with his blood on the floor, 'CURSE U HIPPIE'. "You who denies truth and peace have met a suitable fate for your unhearthly flames of evilness and peace hating.

Neji was depressed. He had lost his coupon to Tenten. Also he couldn't find a girlfriend. Why is Neji looking for a girlfreind? Who knows. Something had then cought his eye. The words, 'dating game show' were printed on a peice of paper. /maybe i should try that/ He then set off for the game show.

The dark winds blew. The trees swished around. Sakura looked up into the clouds and took out her cloud reading book. "..Today shall be a dark and counfused day.." "SAKURA! THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME GO DOWN THIS HILL! IT WILL HELP MY INTERNAL ORGANS GAIN THE POWER OF THE PIKAS!" Sakura pulled out her tranquerlizer gun and shot Ino in the head. "..silence is needed for a joyous day.."

"I am so happy for you two!" Haku smiled. "Thank you!" The girl smiled. "What she said!" Itachi smiled. "Itachi-san...did you leave Sasuke-kun alone with Orochimaru-kun?" asked Haku. "...eh..." Girl gasped, "Did you really?" "...um...he..uh..understood my situation and let me come here! Yea!" Girl was releived,"I would never date a guy who leaves his brother behind in horrible problems." "..yea..he he..."

"He he, Sasuuuke-kun! You will be mine tonight!" "WHYYYYY MEEEEEEEE?" "Now let's go find Kabuto!" "sob sob" "Kabuto! Kabut-" Rochi-chan's eyes widened. The body on the floor really surprised Rochi-chan. "YESSSS! HE'S FINALLY DEAD!" "Why didn't you kill him yourself?" "It was part of the contract for him to work for me. I couldn't kill him." "eeeegguggg.." "?" "..i'm still alive..." Rochi-chan gasped. He then stepped on Kabuto's head and threw him off a cliff. "There." "Isn't that against the contract?" "I can do that if everyone already thinks he's dead!" "..."

"Sooo, if Sasuke understood your position right now and let you go, then does that mean he's doomed to die right now?" "..." Haku and Girl stared at Itachi. "..$&#$&.. Sorry (you don't find out until later), I have to go save him." "I understand." Girl smiled. "When you come back, i'll have some nice ramen for you here." Itachi thanked her for the ramen he didn't have yet and ran off. "He's so silly!" Haku said, "I know. It makes him sooo nicer!" saidGirl. "It's great that your getting married tomorrow!(next chapter)" "Yep!"

BEEP! BEEP! Buildings were blowing up. Things were being run over. "...Kiba, let me take control of the wheel. Your a horrible driver." "You drive too slow. I haven't even gotten to Sasuke's yet!" Shino sighed. "I'm the one that's going to be sued, not you." "Fine fine! You take the wheel. Just make sure to drive fast!" "..yea yea.."

Konoha was in ruins. Buildings were destroyed. Trees were destroyed. Stuff was destroyed. And villans were breaking out of jail. "My dear dear Iruka, thank you." Iruka was standing outside of Kakashi's cell and was slipping explosives and stuff through the bars. "Alright now my dear. Stand back, I shall set the weapon." **BOOOOM!** The bomb exploded and the evil now wanted man, Kakashi, was out of prison. "What about me." Said Gai in a monotonly voice. "Why we do not care about you!" Iruka smiled her beautiful smile and jumped out of the hole in the wall.

**Who's Girl? Will Sasuke be rescued? Who's Neji gonna win? What's Tenten's next plan?**

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(1) Ultra Pipi is from Invader Zim. Episode Hampstergedon.

(2) when I put a , or sign it disappears so the bleep words only have &#$.( signs that don't work here are 2,5,6,8 with shift.)

I think you might have an idea who girl is. Neji's girlfreind to be will surprise you so much! Tenten is evil as you know and by chapter 5 i think Konoha will be destroyed by the genins. Tsunade will show up sooner or later though.

I hope you liked this chapter!


	4. Lusternia

I have finally made chapter 4. Sorry for not continuing for so long! I like ( " )> Kirby.

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**CHAPTER 4-** **Lusternia**

Everything was dark. Nothing could be seen. /Why can't I see anything/ Sasuke wondered. /oh yes/ he then opened his eyes. Sasuke had just been knocked out. Now he was in a bag. "MWAHAHAHA!" /#$&#$, it was better when I was knocked out./ "Sasuke-kun!" Rochi-chan pulled him out of the bag. "We're going to bake cookies and stuff and try dresses and stuff and maybe even..." Sasuke gulped. Rochi-chan's smirk was just so menacing. "...try some hair accesories!"

The door slammed open(yes, they were in a room). "Brother! I have came to save you!" "eh?" "Why Itachi-kun! Youv'e come back to me!" "No I didn't! I came for Sasuke!" "Too bad, I marked him already." "eh?" Sasuke looked at himself. Nothing strange. "What do you mean?" Rochi-chan handed him a mirror. Sasuke took it and looke at his reflection. "Eh?" On his forehead was a big mark that looked like a pony riding a pikachu. "What's it supposed to mean?" asked Itachi. "Everyone with that mark is mine for good! MWAHAHAHA!" Sasuke had a look of dread on his face."NOOOOOOOO! I'VE LOST MY BROTHER TO THE DARK SIDE!" Itachi grabbed Sasuke and jumped out the window. "THEIF THEIF! YOU STOLE MY PROPERTY!" screamed Rochi-chan.

"Uhng.." Kabuto opened his eyes. It seemed that when Orochimaru threw him off the cliff, he fell into a stream that washed him onto a rock. "Orochimaru-sama...you must learn your manners..." mumbled Kabuto into the sky. "..young gentlemen don't through people off cliffs..." Suddenly Kabuto's eyes opened all the way and he quickly got up. /Orochimaru-sama is out in the world doing naive things right now! I must go find him and then punish him. I must give him a lecture on how he is being very unmature/ He climbed up the cliff and ran towards where he thought Orochimaru would most likely be.

"hehehe" Ino was walking in the forest gaining inner strength and imformation onwhat the Great Pika's home is like. Something caught her eye. Itachi had stopped running in a little spot in the forest and put Sasuke down. "We must figure out how to get that mark off of you!" He looked around. A stream! Itachi grabbed some water and violently rubbed on Sasuke's forehead. Nothing happened. "oww.." "Hmmm," Itachi looked around some more. An apple! He grabbed the apple and violently rubbed it on Sasuke's forehead until it exploded. "...ouchie..." Itachi's eyes darkened. "Dear brother, it seems I must resort to my last resort." Sasuke started to tremble with fear. "emm.." Itachi pulled out a kunai. "I will have to scrape off that mark!" Sasuke's eyes turned blank. Itachi thrust the kunai straight at the mark. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ino was watching the entire thing. She walked towards them. "What exactly are ye doing?" "Oh, I was trying to get this mark off of my brother here and i've finally succeded! The problem is that I think I killed him in the prossess..." His eyes overwhelmed with a sad look 'cause Itachi doesn't cry so he has a sad look instead. Sasuke's corpse was covered in blood and had a kunai straight into his forehead. Ino bent over his body. "For he still lives! His body moves with life!" Sasuke was slightly twitching. "Sasuke! Your alive!" "..." He twitched some more. "Let me grant him strength and power! I shall revive his motionfull body to it's full power!" She looked towards the sky and lifted her lightning rods. "GREAT PIKA, GRANT THIS YOUNG CHILD LIFE!" Suddenly the clouds grouped togethor and struck Sasuke with thunder. "YAAAAAGH!" Sasuke stood up. He was all black and steamy with blood all over him. "YAAA! THERE'S A KUNAI IN MY BRAIN!" "Thank you Ino for returning my brother to his original state.

Konoha was in flames. Not all of Konoha though. Just the P.H.A.H.P. part of it. "Peace has returned to the hippie clan." She sighed in pure bliss. Far away at Ichiraku's stood two. "I heard that your paintings are really good!" said girl. "Yes, I'm a good artist but I really do wish for some gold paint." "Gold paint?" "Yes, I heard that ther's this gold egg that you use to create magic gold paint that can bring your paintings to life!" "I wonder where you get this paint..." Ramen guy suddenly interupted their confersation. "I know where you get gold paint!" "Where?" "In the future from some tree called Jurak or something." "Where'd you get that imformation?" "From some game I rented." "Oh. How do I go to the future?" "I know!" Ramen guy put his hand in the air and suddenly, a bright light flashed in the palm of his hand. Some medalion materialized in his hand. "Here, use this to go to the future." "Thank you Ramen Guy!" Haku held the medalion and grabbed girl's hand. "To the future!" They then vanished.

"Hi, i'd like to register into the dating game show." "So you can't find true or fake love eh? Good thing you came here 'cause a bunch of girls just registered!" "Oh really.." "Let me show you to your room now!" Neji followed the guy into a room. "Stay here until the game show starts. While your waiting you can play the Q-box over there." "Ok."

Itachi returned to Ichiraku's with Sasuke next to him. Sasuke had no mark on his forehead. Instead was a big hole because noone had any bandages. "Exuse me Ramen Guy, do you konw where ----- is?" "She went to the future with Haku to get some magic paint." "Oh, I suppose I'll just wait here then." "I'll turn on the T.V. for you then." _Next is the Konoha Dating Show! Today's person looking for a gal is this kid!_ "Wazzza!" Sasuke's mouth gaped open. "That's Neji!"_I can't tell you his name because if I did the ladies would might know who he is maybe. He just can't find a girlfreind so he is here right now. Stand at this stand here and ask questions to these lovely ladies behind curtains! Even I don't know who they are! (lots of clapping) The show will start after these messages! _"..."

"I will finally leave this land. It carries too many memories that aren't dear whatsoever. I will find a new land . Somewhere I may truly call home. Sakura unsheathed her sword and picked up her bag. She then set off into the deep unknown.

The sun shined upon Konoha. Now let's go see how the dating game show is doing. "Ok then, what color do you like?" (Girls speak in 123 order) "Blue!" "Blue." "Blue..." Neji thought about this. "Okay then, what are you wearing?" "A kimono." "Tanktop and skirt." "Dress." "Alright then, what do you like to do?" "Teach sword fighting." "Beat up monsters." "I don't know..." "Ok. I made up my mind! I choose

A big flash of light. "I'm back!" Haku and ---- returned. "Let me paint!" Haku took out her portable paint set and quickly made a picture of a Pikachu. "Magic paint time!" S/He swept the paint across the painting. FLASHNESS. A real live Pikachu then stood there! "Sucess! Let's go paint random other stuff!" "I'd like a Q-box please!" asked ----. "Sure!" replied Haku. "---, you've returned!" said Itachi. "Yup!" "Let's just get married and get this over with so that we can continue with the nonexistant storyline." "Ok!"

"Naruto." Sakura tapped on Naruto's shoulder. "Eh? Oh, hi Sakura-chan!" "I've returned and I wish to tell you my secret." "You left?" "I wanted to tell you that I am Shinigami.(Death god/ soul reaper/ whatever your transalation says in Bleach)" "What's that?" "I do not wish to tell you. I will now set off unto The Planet." "The planet?" "There I will retreive a chocobo." "A choco-what?" Sakura then walked away.

"#2!" BING BING BING! Curtain #2 then opened and standing there was a girl with really long hair. "I'm Tifa! Nice to meet you!" "Hi i'm Neji." said Neji. The other curtains then opened. #1 was a girl with her hair in a ponytail. "I'm Kaoru." #3 opened. "I'm Subaru." Kaoru angrily looked at Neji, "You should have chosen me!" Tifa approached Kaoru, "Well, he chose me and thats the end of that, ok?" Subaru said nothing. Neji then decided to say something. "Ok then, Tifa, right? Let's go on the date then, alright?" Tifa turned and faced Neji, "Great!"

Cloud was so sad. After hearing that Tifa went to a dating show, he was just sad. Now he has to train without Tifa. "I thought Tifa liked me..." he mumbled to himself. "Hey Cloud! It's raining materia! Stay down while I steal it all, um, I mean, stay down so you won't get hurt!" Cloud sighed. "Hey Cloud! Your hairs on fire!" Cloud sighed again. "Cloud. Aeris has been revived from the dead." Cloud sighed another sigh. He then got whacked in the head. "I come back from the dead and you greet me with a sigh? Your making me very disapointed. I suppose then I shouldn't be against the yaoi Cloud club then." Cloud just realixed what had just happened and, "NOOO!"

"Do you, Itachi, take Ayame as your wife?" "Yea." "Do you, Ayame, take Itachi as your husband?" "Yup!" "Alright, your married, now let's get to the more important part of the story." "Okay!"

The alleyway was dark and misterious. "Will you or will you not help me to eliminate all evil on this Earth?" "Since I get to paint more, then sure!" "Alright then. Your first mission is to paint an army." "Ok."

"MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE! GREAT PIKA! YOU HAVE FINALLY GRANTED ME WITH THE ETERNAL REWARDS OF PIKAHAEVEN!" An army of Pikas were walking down the street. "How strange! Pikachus!" Chouji was so very interested in the walking of the Pikas. "Ah well. Ill just go back to doing buff stuff."

"I think I'll go make my own village! Narukage... I can't wait!" Naruto turned towards the lands of plains and then "TELEPORTO-TO-THE-THEREO!" Naruto vanished in a flash of light.

**END**

**How will Narutogakure do? How will Neji's date do? Will Tenten destroy all evil? Wheres Rochi-chan anyways?**

**FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON KFC CHICKEN!**

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I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! I have no idea what will happen next even though I'm the author.

PLZ REVIEW!

Boxing Kirby>>> Q( "Q)


	5. TofuPieMoo

Sorry for not updating for so long! Ive got other stuff 2 do but owellzz!

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**CHAPTER 5- TofuPieMoo**

The moon was setting and the sun was setting and the, wait a minute, what time is it then? Neji sat in a chair with his o so lovely date, Tifa. "Soooo," started Neji, "why did you sign up for the dating show?" Tifa sighed, "Theres this guy named Cloud, right? He likes me but the problem is I think hes a freind and thats final. I cam ehere so he would stop bothering me but maybe i'm just being mean..." Neji knew this was his chance to be nice, "It's not mean! Your just doing whats right and so he will get over the fact that his dreams will never be!" Tifa's face brightened up. "I suppose your right! Now then, let's go have some cactar soup!" Neji smiled. "I love cactar soup!"

"It seems that peace isn't doing so well here." Tenten looked upon the ruins of Konoha and then noticed many Pikachus walking around. "How strange.. are these 'Pikachu' really, truelly supposed to be here?" Haku then walked over. "I finished painting that army that you wanted!" "Exelent. Now let us rebuild Konoha's peace by first conquering it, then rebuilding it." "Sure thing!"

Anguish. The dirt floors were covered in dirt and the village of Narutogekure was complete. Yes, it did take less then a day but we don't really care.. or do we? "I need villagers to live in my o so lovely village!" shouted Naruto to the dust bunnies that inhabited his village. Naruto then noticed a door and on it said 'to Housmaru'. "What is this 'Housmaru?'" thought Naruto aloud. He entered and the first thing he saw was a mall. "WTF?" On it said 'Nookingway'(or Nookington. I can't remember. the big mall one).

Sasuke was sad. "There's a hole in my nice head..." "It's ok Sasuke!" comforted Ayame, "ah, um, you can still continue your life with it!" Sasuke just continued his angstyness when suddenly Rochi-chan jumped out of the nothingness of beyond. "Sasuke-kun! You belong to me!" Itachi grabbed Rochi-chan's foot and swung him onto the floor. "He's not yours anymore! I took off the mark!" Rochi-chan then looked in horror. The mark was indeed gone and as you know, a big hole replaced it. Tears starting dripping from Rochi-chan's eyes and he cried out, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAA! This SUX! S-U-X!"

Meanwhile, Kabuto heared these cries and then thought/Orochimaru-sama. I haved found you atlast. You will now feel the wrath of my paddle/ He jumped down from the rooftops and spontainiously, Rochi-chan jumped up and ran for dear life. "You'll never catch me! I'm Rochi-chan the tormentor!" "No you don't young man! Orochimaru-sama! You WILL come back and face your punishment!" "Well, that's the end of him.." Itachi sat down and sighed. "You know what? What if it started to rain acid?"

Sadly enough, the gods/ and or god it depends what you think, heard this 'what if' question and decided to make it true. "ARG! WE ARE ON VENUS!" "No, it is Saturn!" Sailor Moon then jumped out. "Those girls don't deserve the credit!" she said in her horribly dubbed voice, "it is the moon with the rain of death! Not those pittiful other planets!" Marz sighed, "The moon isn't even a planet you ---- head!" "Ooooooh! Marz! You just cussed!" "Wutever! Let's just get back to the ----in story!"

"My plan isn't going so well as I see it." She onlooked the melting Konoha and sighed. "Now how will I restore peace and tranquility?" Haku was humming a happy tune while she/he painted an acid proof roof for the building. "You know what?" asked Tenten. "I think i'll just destroy it all, leaving no more evil, and rebuilding the whole thing to be a peaceful society!" Her eyes widened in that insaneish way. "MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Tifa sighed. "Acid rain isn't really great for dates..." She and Neji were hiding in the only place acid proof, the dumpster. Yes, everyone wants to keep their entirely useless junk safe from acid! "Man, i'm sorry this hasn't been going so good!" "You don't have to apoligize you know." Bing bing. "Oh! My cellphone!" Tifa then took out here little phone and then noticed that it was a text message. On it said, 'yo wassup! Zack here, i'm alive again! Wanna hang out like before I was shot down?' Tifa then looked at Neji "I just got a text from my freind. Probably we are going to date sooner or later so I suppose i'll leave then." Neji was sad. "This was all a failure then." "You still have all the other girls in this village, right? Well cya!" She took out her teleportation materia and teleported. Neji then decided that all he really needed was x-box live.

"This is it. The most delicate creation of nature. The creation that makes human kind look like a mistake of the planet. I now have before me the ultimate Hyper Sonic Platinum Blond, Silver Specked Aluminating Mako Powered Mythril Plated Everlasting Keyblade Weilding Chocobo." Sakura pet the o so beautiful chocobo and fed it some more 'Homemade Sephy Greens'. They really did work. "I suppose it is time I depart with my newest companion which I will name Chaos. Chaos just said, "Wark!"

"OMFG!" Naruto stared in disbelief at the strange world he was now in. "Hello there! I'm Tom Nook, owner of the only store in town who over prices EVERYTHING but you HAVE to buy from me 'cus i'm the ONLY STORE IN TOWN! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-eh hem.. how may I help you sir?" Naruto grinned awkwordly. "I think i'll just leave, wait, I know! I'll just kill you!" "Oh bothe-BLARG" "Yay!" Naruto kicked over the bloody corpse of the o so evil Tom Nook.

Ino paced down the streets riding an oversized Pikachu. "GREAT PIKA! THANK YE FOR SENDING ME THIS PLEASANT GIFT!" She smiled with her eyes wide and peircing. Looking at her would drive you insane. "I shant stop the worshipping! I must find a noble SACRIFICE to send to the GREAT PIKA!" "O dear." said Chouji who happened to still be nearby. "Let's scram Shikamaru." "Sure thing." They hopped onto his motorcycle and off they went.

Tsunade was pleasantly gambling when something horrible happened. SHE WON. "A bad omen.." she whispered. Even worse, she won everysingle game for the next every game she played. "The world is going to end..." Shizune was very frightened (I think that was her name, right?) Bad omens like these don't happen everyday you know. When they do happen though...your doomed. "Should we warn everyone?" Shizune then replied, "um-i-i-i-think w-ww-we shou-" "Yes. We will escape on our own then. Off we go then." She grabbed Shizune and into the rocket they went. "Next stop, Mars! Wait, I forgot that they renamed it, to Marz then!"

The ground was crumbling and everyone was dying. "My plans seem to be falling apart." mumbled Tenten. "That isn't so good." Lava was oozing out of the ground and acid poored onto the floors. If you are wondering, yes. I killed off Rochi-chan and Kabuto. Or have I? The only thing found was Kabuto's bady, melting in the molten lava with blood, well, everywhere. Rochi-chan was never found, mostly because noone went to look for him 'cus its the end of the world here! Hello! Didn't you notice?

Sakura has an H.S.P.B.S.S.A.M.P.M.P.E.K.W. chocobo so we don't have to worry about her. "The frabric of life is falling apart.. all life ever known is disolving into the terrible grasp of fate. Chaos. Let us be off and away from this ill fated world. The chocobo then flapped its wings, busted out its rocket boosters, and shot out into the sky.

**What will happen to life? Will Neji manage to get X-box live? Wheres Rochi-chan? What's gonna happen with Animal Crossing? Why are there so many questions this time? Find out next time!**

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Probably you won't find out the last question but wutever. 

Reviews plz! I'm glad that people enjoy my story but so far the reviews were kinda weird... -.-;

O wellz, laterz then until the next time I update!


	6. Quit

I haven't really put up any disclaimers in this story yet, so

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, but it would be cool if I did.

And I haven't updated in a long time... but whatever. Yay stupidness!

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**CHAPTER 6- Quit**

The sky shone a terrible red and everyone was dying. This didn't fair well for Konoha. And Neji. Neji had ripped out a hunk of dumpster from the dumpster, now using it as a protective shield from the acid. The only good thing about it raining acid and all was how lots of the people were either dead or had evacuated to someplace. That meant that the stores were empty and Neji could grab some x-box live with ease. After arriving at the store, his eyes widened with anticipation or something. Before him was something even better than x-box live. A Wii.

Far away from where Neji stood, Tenten sat in her emergency rocket and glanced down at Earth. "Hah...what a waste of a planet. Though it doesn't matter anymore, since they're all going to die. HehehehahahHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!" Haku, who was standing beside her, then took out some manga and began to read. "Hm, even if the world ends, if we return after everyones dead, then maybe we can change it into the way you wanted it to be." He gave Tenten a bright smile, which made Tenten feel all determined inside. "Yeah! Of course! I will conquer all! HmhmhehahAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAaaahh...I really have got to stop doing that."

Sasuke was depressed. Why? He had a hole in his head. That's why. And also, his brother decided that the only way to survive the collapsing of Earth was to live underground, was digging a hole. A stupid hole. Sasuke didn't like holes. Nor did he like his brother very much. And he didn't like pain. Or the end of the world. Or anything, really. That's why he was so emo. Itachi then smiled a happy smile at him. "Don't be sad, my dear dear foolish little brother! Everything will be happy and joyful in the end! Happy happy happy!!" Sasuke then took out his lighter and glanced at some oil tanks. "Meh."

Naruto sat in a large throne that towered over the so called 'Housemaru.' Many small animal creatures were bowing down to him as he took a sip from his glass of wine. It seemed that the animal creatures hated the Nook guy a lot, but were rated E for everyone, so they couldn't get rid of him. There also seemed to be some ruckus going on outside of the mystic barrier that protected Housmaru from whatever. A hole then appeared in the barrier thingy. "Ah crud." And so Housemaru was filled with acid.

Very very very far away, Rochi-chan crawled out from a dark hole. "I...I'm alive...and i'll CATCH SASUUUKE-KUN!!! Hahha.." He glanced around and noticed that his skin was burning up. "EH!?!? This acid is ruining my favorite dress! And skin!" Feeling great suffering, Rochi-chan dived into a deep hole. What became of him after that, the world will never know.

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24 hours after everything, the sky stopped raining acid and lava stopped oozing out of the core. The ground was all barren and the only thing left was some figure. This figure was sitting in a nice looking dumpster home, made completely out of dumpsters. It even had an electricity supply. This figure was Hyuuga Neji, who after taking his beloved Wii home, had completely forgotten about all of his sorrows. "Yay! I'm so happy!" He cried out in glee. Neji's life was great, and he was the only inhabitant in the whole area now.

But it seemed he wasn't the only one after all! Itachi crawled out of his hole and pulled Ayame out. "Are you alright, my dearest, beloved lady of Ramen-goodness?" "Why of course!" She replied. Sasuke coughed a bit and felt like angsting somewhere. Being angsty sure sounded like a great idea right now. These three were also inhabitants of the area. Sadly enough, they were the only ones. Everyone else were dead. Or on a different mass of solidness-in-space completely.

Up on the other celestial bodies, Tenten created her utopia, with the only inhabitants being everyone else who survive, which included a majority of the Naruto cast. As for Naruto, he, sadly enough, perished in the acid-ness. And so did Ino, who died being dedicated to the great pika. Sakura though, refused to obey Tenten's rule and wandered off to live as a traveler with her dear companion, Chaos.

The best place to live though, were the ones who weren't living at all. In dead land, Naruto lay back on a nice lounge chair and took a sip from his angelic beverage. Beside him, Rochi-chan was tied to a tree as punishment for the bad things he did during his life. Kabuto, on the other hand, was lounging about on dead land beach. He really needed a vacation anyways.

And that's it. Everyone either lived on Earth, a different planet, or in dead land. And that's the end of everything. So whatever. The end.

**What will happen next time!? There is none! THE END!!**

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Yeah, i finished it off very lamely, but it had to finish someday, so why not kill everyone? Well, I hope you liked my story, though it probablt isn't very good...but whatever!  
So yeah, that's it! Thank you very much for reading! 

And yes, I neglected a lot of characters at the end, but who really cares. If you do, then well...yeah. But I appreciate the people who actually get this far in this fanfic! Yay! Happiness for everyone!!!! XDXD

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